1. |
Camille
02:52
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Your mother’s every answer is to double up the dose
Your daddy sends you birthday greetings wishing he was comatose
As if I have any idea, you say I’d know more than most
That blood is still thicker than water but it’s getting pretty close
So you ran off to the one place where they won’t care how you feel
Where the crosses that they nail you to are made of stainless steel
But the hills are hard to come by: everybody knows the deal
Like you knew what you were doing when you sent me for Camille
I saw accidents as signs only a fool would dare ignore
I stared at strangers in whose faces I saw glimmerings of yours
How can I get what I want if what I always want is more?
Why is it that the more I get, the less you can endure?
When your letter came this afternoon, I recognized the seal
Which made me think there must be secrets you’d decided to reveal
I never felt compelled to honor your final appeal
All it said’s “Whatever you do, please don’t show this to Camille”
On your dresser was a broken clock, a cigarette, your keys,
A coiled-snake ring that your daddy stole when he served overseas
And a picture in a thrift-shop frame somebody took of me
When they knew I wasn’t looking, that they thought I’d never see
Tell me what I want to hear, I don’t expect it to be real
If you cared for me, it wouldn’t be so hard to help me heal
But words can’t cure what you believe would best be kept concealed
So if I don’t hear it from you, I’ll just hear it from Camille
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2. |
Forget The Address
02:57
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In crystal clear mirrors and chandelier shadows
The drawing room desperately grows dim
The wrought-iron fireplace fences pretend
The dust piles are ash when they blow in
The queen mattress bares itself flat on the floor
It would walk out the door if it could stand
It's not what I'd heard, but it's hardly surprising
How far down you can keep a good man
When all you have left is your next breath
And your best bet's a guess, then your next step's
To leave the key by the door as you exit and forget the address
The signals you sent were the means to dead ends
With a smile you don't let your friends see
Your eyes were so lifelike I almost forgot,
Like your promises and heart, that they're empty
You told me to stay 'til the day breaks us both
'Til the smoke from your last cigarette's gone
I woke up with nothing but burn marks beside me
On the secondhand sofa we slept on
When all you have left is your next breath
And your best bet's a guess, then your next step's
To leave the key by the door as you exit and forget the address
You made up your face out of habit and laughed
At the church bells that welcomed the sun
I'd have trusted that sound when it said I'd been found
But I knew I'd been lost more than once
With your hand on the door, you swore a new life takes no more
Than caution and keeping your home safe
Now your home's where you hide, and you pay with your pride
Like a dead tenant renting his own grave
When all you have left is your next breath
And your best bet's a guess, then your next step's
To leave the key by the door as you exit and forget the address
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3. |
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China Lee Chase had that look on her face
You could see it from several rooms over
Her sense of decorum had succumbed to her boredom
She’d trade favors like a bankrupt pawnbroker
Left to its devices, trouble she had invited
Had made itself feel right at home
And I’m the third wheel, but we both know the deal
That you never leave trouble alone
The minor most change can make bedfellows strange
The balance is constantly swaying
China Lee made her choice based on my tone of voice
Without listening to what I was saying
The look on her face could have blackened the lace
Ornamenting the dress she was wearing
Like it pulled us apart and dulled 10 o’clock sharp
So I don’t know how long I was staring
There’s a hole in the center, a door to be entered
A drain to be circled around
There’s a gap in the signal, something missing in the middle
It’s the detail that the Devil found
China Lee checked the time, whispered “Would you mind?”
And then crept up the stairs to her quarters
And with no invitation, I wondered while waiting
If my good sense could ever afford her
When I reached her room, like a body exhumed
She lied perfectly still but still perfect
The mirrors and smoke did the trick when she woke
With a sapphire hanging from her neck
There’s a hole in the center, a door to be entered
A drain to be circled around
There’s a gap in the signal, something missing in the middle
It’s the detail that the Devil found
All a man can deliver from an arrowless quiver
In his parting shot, dry fire voice
Are a few final words, if they’re the first that you’ve heard
Then you’re probably missing the point
Every last hunter, everyone who could want her
Has dreamed of the kill or the capture
But there’s already a trap past the edge of the map
China Lee left the room, I just sat there
There’s a hole in the center, a door to be entered
A drain to be circled around
There’s a gap in the signal, something missing in the middle
It’s the detail that the Devil found
There’s a hole in the center, a door to be entered
A drain to be circled around
There’s a gap in the signal, something missing in the middle
It’s the detail that the Devil found
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4. |
Last To Know
03:08
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I didn’t recognize the summer, it had started floating by me
There are parts of me still hoping that it will
I’m not getting any younger, I don’t need any reminding
Days pass even if the August air stands still
I’ve been getting gentle messages that tell me I should move on
But they never seem to tell me where to go
Then as if I owe them, those same voices plead for my predictions
But why bother ask? I’m always last to know
Like a phantom, in comes Nadine who cut contact with her senses
She lost the life from her eyes in a bet
Her luck was legendary among friends who lack for legends
She was born to lose but hasn’t learned that yet
“If anyone’s kept watch,” I say, “you’ve earned your pass to paradise”
Her smile fades before my mouth can close
“You’re no judge,” she screams, as if eternity’s her enemy
And what she means, you’d have that long to last to know
All my friends are failing fathers, and their wives have eyes that wander
But they never make it farther than Nadine’s
She brings men to her bed as if she’ll find the one
Who’ll lie beside her, close his eyes, and see her dreams
The price of her compassion, if she offers it, is equal to the blood it takes to make an honest oath
In the end, I couldn’t figure out which heart was hers and which was mine
So I became inclined to break them both
The seasons haven’t switched yet so the full moon at this time of night
Is forced to fight light left from longer days
The fonder that my heart grew, the more absent she became
'Til there weren’t even any edges left to fray
Sometimes no one’s to blame: the circumstances dictate desperate times
The measure of a man is taken slow
When Nadine says it’s too late, guess I have to take her word
She knows I haven’t heard, I’m always last to know
When Nadine says it’s too late, guess I have to take her word
She knows I haven’t heard, I’m always last to know
When Nadine says it’s too late, guess I have to take her word
She knows I haven’t heard, I’m always last to know
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5. |
When All Else Fails
02:28
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The streetlamp sputters, no words are uttered
Though the corner's occupied
The street dissolves, when the cops are called
No one even thinks to hide
There's no flesh, just skin, and it's stretched so thin
Every stranger's just a skull
And they bellow smoke that would make you choke
If your senses weren't so dull
The car door closes as the driver dozes and his dreams in comparison pale
I only hear from you when all else fails
Your makeup's smeared 'cause you conjured tears
So at least you'd look affected
'It's a cheap disguise,' say your hollow eyes
Which you haven't yet perfected
'The dark will help,' you tell yourself
So you nestle in the shadows
But you don't account for when light surrounds
And points you out like arrows
The power lines in an hour's time will give in to the gales
I only hear from you when all else fails
Shutters snap, bedrooms unwrap
As dawn ends night's forgiveness
The streetlamps' hum tries to spite the sun
But it puts them out of business
You spent all your nerve on the night's concerns
But the nighttime holds no grudges
A paper rose down the sidewalk blows
But the bluebell barely budges
You felt justified 'cause I must have lied
Somewhere along the trail
I only hear from you when all else fails
There are calling cards 'neath bottle shards
Of the gentlemen left waiting
Where they fell refused next to yesterday's news
Gathered in the gutter's grating
There are forming clouds over morning crowds
Like a warning shot was fired
Open blinds bear eyes, and you wonder
By how many you're desired
Empty payphone stalls line the broke-brick walls
If you need to call, just holler
Interest is rare, so, sweetheart
Spare the dime, but spoil the dollar
All the storefront's vacant windows
Can't make right what's gone too wrong
We all inspect our own reflections
Only question's for how long
The wire's tripped, the heartbeat's skipped
The one you wanted's bailed
I only hear from you when all else fails
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6. |
The First Port
03:31
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Someday you’ll look back and see my face in photographs
And you’ll wonder who I was and where I went
The past’s a secret I won't keep. The rest's a dream: just try to sleep
The minutes pass no faster ‘cause they’re more well-spent
When consequences hastened by your powers of persuasion
Meet the promises you made to make me stay
Then you’ll wrap your arms around me ‘cause you’re so glad that you found me
And ‘cause you can’t think of anything to say
All you fine ladies feared forgotten,
Come find out what I recall
Then lay me in a deep grave, babe
The one you’re with has never stood so tall
You better fill your threats with something I won’t soon forget
Or leave them empty; either way is fine with me
No one else will make you answer for the lack of what you stand for
And I’m sure you’ll make up something to believe
You bet it’s brutal business when you’re begging for forgiveness
But you don’t know what you need forgiveness for
You’ll say anything it seems: deny your love interpret dreams
And with each word, you’ll bind yourself to beg for more
All you fine ladies feared forgotten,
Come find out what I recall
Then lay me in a deep grave, babe
The one you’re with has never stood so tall
So, explain to me what happens when the storm that trapped you passes
But you’re still stuck in the first port that you found
What’s the worse eternity: to have been buried by the sea
Or to have pledged your heart to whoever’s around?
If you think you get off easy ‘cause you tell me you don’t need me
Then you must believe the rain will keep you dry
You reach for me, I won’t be there; want me to speak, I’d rather stare
Into the frosted glass, 4am summer sky
All you fine ladies feared forgotten,
Come find out what I recall
Then lay me in a deep grave, babe
The one you’re with has never stood so tall
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7. |
Something Tells Me
04:00
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On came the thunder, but there wasn’t any storm
Just the wet air from a summer afternoon that grew too warm
The boats are in the harbor piled up like firewood
The sirens could sound any second, but it wouldn’t do no good
Turn up the radio, someone’s about to speak
Leave your sister in the kitchen ‘cause her wits are getting weak
The exit is the easy part if we were so inclined
The cobblestones could cut you ‘cause the path’s so well-defined
But if your soul needs saving, should’ve thought of that before
There are bulbs burned out and broken on the cross above the door
Silence is the only thing around here that seems strange
Something tells me that’s about to change
The moving shadows in the dead-still afternoon
Haven’t found the clues or facts to prove positions they’ve assumed
When the night’s a fact of life, we all get off to brave starts
We can each keep watch a spell then switch, but every shift’s the graveyard
For your sake, I pray the weight on which your hope is hung
Is stronger than the silver I could shovel from your tongue
But if it’s not, yours wouldn’t be the first to fall to pieces
Let’s leave it in the parking lot and hope that no one sees us
Your pleasure’s proof of nothing ‘cept how well the wheels are greased
Not even if you buried me would I get any peace
You stared down every barrel like it was miles out of range
Something tells me that’s about to change
Some folks seek direction, some seek to calm their doubts
I seek the shortest path from where I’m at to the easy way out
If you’re waiting for deliverance, you should pray to postal clerks
You can call this field your prairie home, but it still needs to be worked
But you’ll place any bet on which you’re offered even odds
On second glance, these games of chance are games of sabotage
Wolves are scratching at the back door, and they’re letting in the cold
Those clay dice came up snake eyes, but nobody even rolled
If we make it out of this with anything intact
I’ll take you from your homeland and I’ll never take you back
Your Alabama wildflowers whispering my name
And it would be a change of pace for things to stay the same
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8. |
Monroe
04:39
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There's an old silver maple under which we say we met
But that's just what we tell other people 'cause we both forget
It could have been down in the alley where the cold wind never ceases
Or the street where sunlight disappears each time a smokestack wheezes
And it could have been another town, but all we'd known was this
Where family buries family with no time to mourn or miss
Where you know what something's worth by how quickly you let it go
'Cause boys can live in daydreams; only men live in Monroe
Forgiveness is a virtue that I never did possess
I don't care who did it first or last if I did it the best
So even when I saw her standing 'neath that silver maple tree
I was prepared to make the boys around her settle up with me
Now whatever distance separates me from her open door
Equals the gap between what's worth having and what's worth waiting for
So when or why or how I have to leave she never needs to know
The prison walls will rise around you if you stick around Monroe
Did the family of the freed thief think to thank the angry mob?
Or did they live in fear a crowd would come to finish up the job?
Sometimes the price of starting over is another failure's death
There are regrets that neither pen nor tongue sufficiently express
But if words don't work the way we need, then neither can they warn
If my silence is a sign of love but hers a sign of scorn
Good faith is open to suspicion, and suspicion only grows
Until there's so much, you can taste it in the water in Monroe
I felt the frequent panic of my answers unbelieved
'Til I began to ask the questions and began to feel deceived
When I left, imagined enemies were grabbing at my heels
Now the longer that I stay away, the more that they seem real
When I saw her last, she said "so long" like silence was a waste
And I wondered what I'd given her that couldn't be replaced
The sun had risen just enough to see how dark it was
Her body didn't feel familiar then; now nothing ever does
And every stranger I've seen since seems to be speaking hieroglyphs
I can't get over what she was just getting over with
I've heard tell that she's in Terre Haute or down in Mexico
But she knows I'll never go back, so she'll never leave Monroe
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9. |
Kingdom Come
02:35
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She wears her wedding veil and says her eyes have seen the glory
Tears apart her family photos, says they're someone else's story
You can stare down any street here and see straight into her past
Would you rather miss your next chance, or your next chance be your last?
While the kids are in the graveyard playing hopscotch on the headstones
'Cause their mother says she's tired, needs some time to be alone
There's a stranger waiting at the gate who won't say where he's from
Only says he's on his way to kingdom come
Would you wait another year?
There's too much to finish here
Would you wait another year?
She'll be your friend if you pretend her dreams are perfect plans
And you laugh at jokes that neither of you even understand
'Cause fate and flattery go hand-in-hand and stand in equal portion
Blessed be the ones who fail to fathom your fine fortune
When loneliness cracks open and each shadow has a voice
You'll do anything for silence; what it takes won't be your choice
The kids have found a different game to play, they're beating on the drum
In the rhythm of the march to kingdom come
Would you wait another year?
There's too much to finish here
Would you wait another year?
There's no fighting for your life or what you've lost or what you've learned
If you leave here, you will hear the echo of your own return
Like a nightingale whose vengeful voice goes silent on the high notes
Moses marching forty years but blindly winding up in Cairo
The door dares you to do it, but it don't say where to go
The walls, they whisper something different in a language you don't know
How many times I tried to warn you not to do what I had done
'Cause she knows which roads to close to kingdom come
Would you wait another year?
There's too much to finish here
Would you wait another year?
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10. |
All That's Left
04:27
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When the casket started closing, the widow took to wailing
You couldn’t have consoled her if you tried
That much must have seemed apparent: no one made a single motion
They just closed their eyes like they’re the ones who died
But I kept my eyes open and fixed upon the widow
Though I hadn’t any comfort left to spare
Before I left, I wished her well, although I didn't tell her
But wishing’s just one step away from prayer
All that’s left is the morning
It will find its way here with or without warning
All that’s left is the morning, then he’s gone
In the parking lot, familiar faces lit by cigarettes
Appeared to have been losing fights with time
I’d seen those faces laughing in the countless photographs
But nowhere among the frames did I find mine
So I smiled vacantly just like they smiled back at me
Then I waved and hoped that that would be enough
If they recognized me, they sure knew how to hide it
But I’m not here to call nobody’s bluff
All that’s left is the morning
It will find its way here with or without warning
All that’s left is the morning, then he’s gone
I wouldn’t make it back the next day to find out who’d beared the pall
I wouldn’t have to see the hole someone had dug
I wouldn’t have to watch the flowers backing out of their arrangements
Or the widow’s pale face looking slightly drugged
And nobody would notice I was missing from the gallery
No one anticipates that I’ll attend
I’ve done away with expectations, and I’ve washed my hands of anyone
Who dares to demand better from their friends
All that’s left is the morning
It will find its way here with or without warning
All that’s left is the morning, then he’s gone
All that’s left is the morning, then he’s gone
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Ian Fitzgerald Providence, Rhode Island
Though perhaps technically a singer-songwriter, Ian Fitzgerald prefers the term 'folk singer,' as it more accurately describes the tradition in which his music is rooted. From early twentieth century field recordings through Hank Williams, Bob Dylan, Gillian Welch, and hundreds of artists in between, Ian has been influenced by one of the sturdiest strains of American music. ... more
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